Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
