is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
not ubering you a puppy
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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