trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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