didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
