Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
