Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
