i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Buhtt sex?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
