Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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