I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
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