Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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