I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
