But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
