doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I can text with my tongue
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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