you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
