the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I am available for nakedness
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
