So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
