I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
