i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
where are my eyebrows?
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