like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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