dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
