apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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