Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
