what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
