one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
