Plan B is the new Plan A
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
