Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
