it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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