I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Randomize
