my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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