Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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