You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
