some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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