i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
