Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
