Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
