I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize