After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
