he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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