I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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