I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Screwed.edu
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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