Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
