This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
