Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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