ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
