I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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