She is in my trunk
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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