i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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