I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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