he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
