woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
