You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize