I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
