you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
