we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
