THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
