We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
