I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
