i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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