hotel room ftw
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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