I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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