just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
