if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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